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Raging Bullshit  (2001)

Alternative Titles: Vanessa, The Time The Place, Liar Liar, Yeah Right

Genre: Drama

Plot:
Vanessa Feltz famously put on three stone for her part in the true-life story about her fib-fest chat show. The show was famously pulled following an internal inquiry into the use of fake "guests" on the programme.

Starring: Vanessa Feltz and Buster Bonk.

Quotes:
Mandy: "Yes, I did have an affair with my guinea pig."


BIFTA Winner: Best Load of Crap Ever To Hit The Screens (2002)

Directed by: Martin Scorsese. UK Colour.

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Raw Meat  (1985)

Alternative Titles: Raw Beef, Mad Bastards, Who Ate All the Pies?

Genre: Action

Plot:
Arnold Schwarzenegger shooting people with a machine gun for about 90 minutes.

Starring: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Don Johnson and Cass Trate.

Quotes:
Passer-by: "DICKHEAD!"


BIFTA Nomination: Most Guns (1986)

Directed by: Paul Verhoeven. US Colour.

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Reservoir Drainage  (1985)

Alternative Titles: Greenbooth Rezzy

Genre: Action/Drama

Plot:
A gentle tale of northern folk up in't th'ills. When North West Water threaten to take over the local reservoir and increase utility bills, villagers take matters into their own hands.

Starring: Fred Dibnah and Helen D'Back.

Quotes:
Bill: "Aye, it were all fields 'round here back then."


BIFTA Winner: Best Pipes (1986)

Directed by: Austin Allegro and Noel Hill. UK Colour.

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Ryvita  (1978)

Alternative Titles: Crispbreads, Crackerbreads, Crackerjack

Genre: Musical

Plot:
This musical has gone down in time as the rags-to-riches classic. The story of how a lowly biscuit factory cleaner steals a unique recipe with the help of the factory cat, then to leaves the country to make crackers for the Japanese market.

Starring: Elaine Paige and Barbara Dickson.

Quotes:
Tina: "We're gonna to miss you, you stupid cow."

Most Helpful User Review:
SPOILERS: The ending where she says goodbye to her two sisters had me in tears.

Music By: Genesis.

Best Song: Don't Cry for Me Ange and Tina.


BIFTA Winner: Best Vocals of a Lead Actress in a Lead Role (1979)

Directed by: Gordon Blimey. UK Colour.

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Santa Claws: The Movie  (1982)

Alternative Titles: Satan Claus, Satan Claws, Father Christmas, Father Ted, Father Time

Genre: Horror

Plot:
Yuletide fright-fest for scaring kids. Santa's grotto, in the Bumfries Shopping Centre, is unlike any other.

Santa makes promises he just cannot keep, and when little Johnny Town-House is told he can have the pet spider monkey he's always wanted, he becomes suspicious. Pulling at Santa's beard and kicking his shins, is enough to cause the Father of Christmas to transform into a manic, drooling hairy beast.

Starring: Timmy Spoilt-Schitt and Grandpa Flump.

Quotes:
Santa: "Sit still, you little shit."

Most Helpful User Review:
What he does to the Salvation Army collectors is in particularly bad taste. Bags of festive fun.


BIFTA Nomination: Best Prezzies (1983)

Directed by: Bill Whup. UK Colour.

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The Sewing Machinist  (2004)

Alternative Titles: The Rag Trade, Raggy Dolls, Sally and Me

Genre: Thriller/Drama

Plot:
Julie Hesmondhalgh famously put on 6 lbs to star as Hayley Cropper in this cult classic "Coronation Street" feature length soap spin-off.

Starring: Julie Hesmondhalgh and Sally Whittaker.

Quotes:
Hayley: "Mr Baldwin says we have to stay until six, Sal."


BIFTA Winner: Best Stitching and Seaming by a Supporting Actress (2005)

Directed by: Martin Quaffle. UK Colour.

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Shit Actually  (2003)

Alternative Titles: Shite Actually, Big Heap o' Shit

Genre: Romantic Comedy

Plot:
Follows the lives of eight dreadfully boring couples dealing with their love lives in various loosely related tales all set at Christmas in London, England.

Starring: Hugh Grant, Colin Firth, Bill Nighy and Martine McCutcheon.

Quotes:
Mark: "I knew from the moment I saw you across the crowded room I wanted you. How much for a hand job?"

Most Helpful User Review:
Girl-meets-fop bollocks. Cringeworthy flirting, terrible overacting - this film is simply unrealistic crud.


BIFTA Winner: Best Embarrassingly Cringy Ending (2004)

Directed by: Richard Curtis. UK Colour.

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The Silence of the Mams  (1989)

Alternative Titles: Some Mother's Do 'Ave 'Em, It Ain't Half Hot Mum

Genre: Thriller

Plot:
The local high school's Parent and Teacher Association is thrown into chaos when the teachers try to silence the nagging parents by gluing their mouths shut.

Starring: Sally James and Anton Rogers.

Quotes:
Mr Lecturer: "Our school dinners are served with a nice hot chocolate and baked beans. Shlurrrp."

Most Helpful User Review:
Watched this with me mam, she shit herself! LOL.


BIFTA Winner: Best OFSTED Inspection for Ages (1990)

Directed by: Tidy Box. UK Colour.

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The Slimfast Club  (1985)

Alternative Titles: Fat Friends, Fat Club, Fat Bastards, Mange Tout

Genre: Drama

Plot:
80s teen movie following a group of overweight class misfits who bond at the school Slimmers Club, and finally become accepted when they each lose two stone.

Trivia: Simple Minds scored their biggest hit in the US with the theme tune "Don't You (Forget About Meat)".

Starring: Lou Diamond Phillips and Molly Ringworm.

Quotes:
Billy: "Christ, I'm starvin'!"


BIFTA Nomination: Slimmer of the Year (1986)

Directed by: Jim Jamms. US Colour.

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The Sound of Singing  (1963)

Alternative Titles: The Hills Are Alike, Doh Rae Mi Al Fresco, Nuns on the Run

Genre: Musical

Plot:
Julie Andrews, nuns, children and lots of bunny rabbits running, dancing, singing and smoking cannabis on a hillside in Austria, in Nazi Wartime.

Running time 5 hours.

Starring: Julie Andrews and Bob Stockings.

Quotes:
Maria: "This is some seriously good shit - I'm seeing elephants all over the sky."

Music By: Tate & Lyle.

Best Song: "What Are We Going to Do About the Munchies?".


BIFTA Winner: Best Score (1964)

Directed by: Big Cheese. US/Austria Colour.

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Spellchecked  (1973)

Alternative Titles: Spellbinder, Egg Bound

Genre: Thriller

Plot:
This is considered as one of Itchcocks bestest suspense film's. The story of an illiterate who should of listend in english class and now find's it hard to except he will never be a jurnalist.

Starring: Glenda La Fever and Paddy O'Doors.

Quotes:
Vicky: "D'ya fink ah'm fick or summat?"


BIFTA Winner: Best Correction Fluid (1974)

Directed by: Alfred Itchcock. US Colour.

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Stephen King's - The Easter Bunny  (1978)

Alternative Titles: Hares of Hell, Bad Bugs, No Eggs for Johnny

Genre: Horror

Plot:
Based on a novel by Stephen King. Killer rabbits from outer space invade the small town of Pittsville.

Starring: Melvyn Hayes and the Double Decker gang.

Quotes:
Barbara: "That reminds me, I must buy some eggs."


BIFTA Nomination: Best Animal Handling (1979)

Directed by: Mister Humphries. UK/US Colour.

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Strangers on a Tram  (2001)

Alternative Titles: Swapsies, Multicoloured Swap Shop, 01 811 8055

Genre: Thriller/Drama

Plot:
Two 11-year-old boys, Billy Grunt and Jimmy Tardis, meet on a tram from Oldham to Derker, and talk about swapping Panini football stickers.

Billy takes the swap too seriously and continues to stalk Jimmy until he's traded his umpteenth spare Ryan Giggs for Jimmy's Shaun Goater.

Starring: Ant McPartlin and Declan Donnelly.

Quotes:
Jimmy: "Got... Got... Got..."


BIFTA Nomination: Top Trumps (2002)

Directed by: Alfred Hichcock. UK Colour.

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Strictly Balding  (1980)

Alternative Titles: Strictly Alopecia, The Hair Less Bunch, Wiggy, Kojak the Musical

Genre: Musical/Drama

Plot:
Remember years ago when there were only 3 completely bald people in the world? Now they are everywhere.

Best Song: "Puttin' On My Toupee"

Starring: Telly Savalas, Duncan Goodhew and Errol Brown.

Quotes:
Brian: "Shave it off?! Are you mad?!"

Most Helpful User Review:
This musical was made back in those halcyon days when we laughed at baldies. I really miss the comb-over.

Music By: Hot Chocolate.


BIFTA Winner: Best Mirkins (1981)

Directed by: Burt Reynolds. UK Colour.

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Stringfellas  (1990)

Alternative Titles: Goodfellows, Stringfellows, Nightclubbin', Das Klub Der Nacht

Genre: Drama

Plot:
Based on the true story of a nightclub owner and his rise to infamy via sex, drugs and shit pop music.

Starring: Peter Stringfellow, Ray Liotta, Joe Pesci.

Quotes:
Peter: "As far back as I can remember, I always wanted to be a gang-banger."


BIFTA Winner: Best Supporting Actor in an Tensely Unnerving Scene (1991)

Directed by: Martin Scorsese. UK/US Colour.

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