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I Eat Your Eyes  (1982)

Alternative Titles: Eye Pockets, Sexy Eyes, Eye Think Eye Like You, Whaddaya Wanna Make Those Eyes at Me For?

Genre: Horror

Plot:
Gruesome shocker. The town of Munsterville gets a new optician, Dr Stephen Acrobat, who checks out his patients' notes to see where they live, and then sneaks into their homes at night to remove their eyes with spoons and eat them like oysters.

Starring: Marty Feldman and Cybil Shepherd.

Quotes:
Mrs Acrobat: "I think you're becoming a bit obsessed, Stephen."

Most Helpful User Review:
Vile but compelling.


BIFTA Winner: Best Make-Up Artist (1983)

Directed by: Rooley Moor. US Colour.

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I Know What You Cooked Last Tuesday  (1997)

Alternative Titles: Seven Sausages for Satan, Death Chef, Yes Chef, Farmhouse Kitchen, Now Wash Your Hands

Genre: Horror

Plot:
Horrifyingly bad movie where TV celebrity chefs are suspected of murder by food poisoning. Who is guilty? Who is innocent? Who cares?

Starring: Delia Smith, Anthony Worral-Thompson, Ainsley Harriot, Jamie Oliver, Susan Brookes, That annoying twat with the Yorkshire accent and Judi Spiers.

Quotes:
Peter: "I don't think that ravioli agreed with me...."


BIFTA Winner: Best Sweet Potatoes (1998)

Directed by: Stu Pidd. UK Colour.

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I.T. The Information Technician  (1998)

Alternative Titles: PC World, Just Because I Work with Computers Doesn't Mean I Like Talking About Them or Fixing Them in My Spare Time, Fuck Off

Genre: Children's/Sci-Fi

Plot:
Eye-watering story of a young boy, Elliot, who befriends an I.T. Support Technician he discovers living in his garden shed. The techie is on the run from everyone, as he is sick to death of answering questions and fixing computers. Elliot hides him in his wardrobe.

Starring: Michael J Fox.

Quotes:
IT: "Re-boot!"


BIFTA Winner: Best IT Supporting Actor (1999)

Directed by: Stephen Spielberg. US Colour.

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Ice Scream  (1984)

Alternative Titles: Skate or Die, Winter Nympholympics, Ice Ice Baby, Vanilla Ice Must Die

Genre: Horror

Plot:
Terror at the local ice rink as a pink booted serial killer stalks the Winter Olympics Ice Skating team.

A well as winning a BIFTA, this film also won Gold at the 1984 Olympics.

Starring: Dick Van Winkle, Barbara Bolero and Ron Pickering (as himself).

Quotes:
Ron Pickering: "A fabulous double axel, straight into the triple salchow...."

Most Helpful User Review:
The twist at the end is totally predictable.


BIFTA Winner: Best Lifting of a Lead Actress by an Actor in a Supporting Role (1985)

Directed by: Robin Cousins. UK/USSR Colour.

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In the Heat of the Kitchen  (1967)

Alternative Titles: Bitchin' Kitchen, Get into That Kitchen and Rattle Those Pots and Pans

Genre: Thriller

Plot:
Sidney Poitier stars as Virgin Titts, a restaurant chef, in this stylish 60s classic. Rod Steiger plays a bigoted head chef who accuses him of pissing in the soup. Stress levels increase as more customers arrive, and Steiger develops begrudging respect for the cool-under-pressure black dude.

Trivia: Fifteen years after it was made, the movie inspired Bucks Fizz to pen their classic single, "If You Can't Stand the Heat".

Starring: Sidney Poitier and Polly Roll.

Quotes:
Maitre'd: "Is that a chocolate chip or a mouse turd?"


BIFTA Winner: Best Pancake Flipping (1968)

Directed by: Morphy Richards. US Colour.

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Interview with a Veggie  (1993)

Alternative Titles: Interview with a Vegetarian, Not Poodle, Wot No Meat?

Genre: Horror/Documentary

Plot:
Thought-provoking documentary by Linda McCartney. Horrific scenes from an abattoir punctuate interviews with several vegetarians and Animal Rights Campaigners.

Starring: Dot Noodle and Damon Allbran.

Quotes:
Interviewer: "So, what age were you when you realised you were a vegetarian?"


BIFTA Nomination: Best Nut Cutlets (1994)

Directed by: Linda McCartney. UK/US Colour.

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Invasion of the Bodywarmers  (1983)

Alternative Titles: Look Ma No Sleeves! What Not to Wear, That's Life!

Genre: Sci-Fi/Horror

Plot:
The year is 1982. Children, teenagers and adults alike, are all being brainwashed into wearing the latest fashion horror: the bodywarmer.

Swiftly followed by legwarmers, peddle pushers, ra-ra skirts, leather ties and pixie boots, it's not long before the entire nation looks fucking ridiculous.

Starring: Trendy Wendy and Pat Cabs.

Quotes:
Mandy: "Where'd ya get them moon-boots from, Trace?"

Most Helpful User Review:
Russell T Davies considers this film an influence for "Torchwood".


BIFTA Winner: Best Performance of a Hairspray in a Supporting Role (1984)

Directed by: Jean Paul Gallstones. UK Colour.

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Invasion of the Maggie Thatchers  (1980)

Alternative Titles: Attack of the Tory Clones

Genre: Horror/Sci-Fi

Plot:
The year is 1979. Scary chaos is in store when the Tories take over the minds and bodies of Britons to make them vote Conservative and the whole country lands up in a big heap o' shit.

Starring: Donald Sutherland, Leonard Nimoy and Janet Brown.

Quotes:
Man in Chinese restaurant: "I tell you, that not my wife!"

Most Helpful User Review:
A half-formed dog with a Thatcher head is a highlight, but the scariest image is of hundreds of Margaret Thatcher clones screaming and pointing in the House of Commons.


BIFTA Winner: Best Landslide Victory (1981)

Directed by: Norman Titbit. UK Colour.

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It Came from Beneath Aldi  (1992)

Alternative Titles: Customer Service, Can I Help You?, Are You Being Served?

Genre: Sci-Fi

Plot:
Floor staff at the local Aldi Superstore are up-in-arms about the newly recruited checkout operator who is just too perfect. Just how can she scan 10 items in 2 seconds?

Starring: Sharon Gless and David Essex.

Quotes:
Voice on tannoy: "And for those of you planning a party, we've got an offer on toilet rolls at the moment..."

Most Helpful User Review:
SPOILER: The climax at the end of the film - where heroine Sheila Trilby discovers more checkout operators being "born" from a giant, vagina-faced alien blob in the warehouse - is brain-curdling.


BIFTA Winner: Best Special Offers (1993)

Directed by: Barry Chomp. UK Colour.

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It's a Shit Life  (1965)

Alternative Titles: Shit Happens, Life is Like a Box of Shit, Roll on Death, Crappy Days

Genre: Drama

Plot:
Thoroughly downbeat melodrama set in the awful small town of Shite Falls, in which manic-depressive Marlon Cobb manages to convince the whole population that it's just not sodding worth it.

Starring: Tony Hancock, Kenneth Williams and Jim Morrison.

Quotes:
MC: "The Mayor would like to say a few words before we depart this no-good stinking arse of a so-called existence. But first, give it up for The Beatles!"


BIFTA Nomination: Best Mass Suicide (1966)

Directed by: Ford Capri. UK/US Black & White.

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It's a Wonderful Pie  (1946)

Alternative Titles: It's a Wonderful Wonderful Pie, Golden Wonder

Genre: Drama

Plot:
An angel is sent from Heaven to help a desperately frustrated businessman by showing him what life would be like if his wife was a better cook.

Starring: James Stewart, Donna Reed and Lionel Barrymore.

Quotes:
Clarence: "Every time the oven dings, it means the pie is ready."

Most Helpful User Review:
I watch this timeless classic at least once a year while the wife is busy in the kitchen.


BIFTA Winner: Best Method for Making Pastry (1947)

Directed by: Frank Capra. US Black & White.

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Jacob's Cracker  (1993)

Alternative Titles: Biscuits of Death, Choke to Death, Hokum Choke 'Em, Jacob Marley

Genre: Horror/Fantasy

Plot:
Throat-clutching horror whodunit set in a country hotel in Cumbria. Just who is responsible for the poisoned cream crackers?

Starring: Ted Robbins and Phyllis Shave.

Quotes:
David: "Yes, I've a room reserved under the name Gawpthorpe..."


BIFTA Winner: Best Room Service (1994)

Directed by: Stinky Navel. UK Colour.

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Journey to the Centre of the Town  (1959)

Alternative Titles: Going to Town, Gone Shopping, The Day the Bus Stood Still

Genre: Sci-Fi

Plot:
Jules Verne classic. An elderly couple decide to venture into the town centre. The film starts slow with the pair preparing for the journey - packing a bag with rain hat, plastic knife and fork, cling film and Lemsip "just in case".

The action picks up at the bus stop when they realise they've just missed one. Battling against teenagers, guide dogs and pushchairs, they eventually get seated on the bus, but reach their destination disappointed: there's no Harry Ramsden's.

Starring: James Mason and Thora Hird.

Quotes:
Elsie: "Bert, did you bring the Bisodol? I SAID, DID YOU BRING THE BISODOL?"


BIFTA Winner: Best Cling Film (1960)

Directed by: Peachy Arse. UK Black & White.

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The King's Peach  (2010)

Alternative Titles: The King and Fruit, Der Koenig der Pfirsich, For God's Sake It's Only a Peach

Genre: Drama

Plot:
Colin Firth stars as King George VI of Britain, whose impromptu ascension to the throne threw his embarrassing phobia of peaches into the spotlight. Geoffrey Rush plays the psychotherapist who helps him get over it.

Starring: Colin Firth and Geoffrey Rush.

Quotes:
Queen Elizabeth: "I know dearest, but it isn't good for one to scream when the King of Norway's butler brings out peach tarte for dessert."


BIFTA Winner: Best Actor in a Shrinking Role (2011)

Directed by: Lenny Barn. UK Colour.

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The Lady Varnishes  (1938)

Alternative Titles: Ronseal, Crown or Dulux?

Genre: Thriller

Plot:
While her husband travels across pre-WWII continental Europe on business, a housewife decides to restore all their furniture while he's away.

Starring: Mary Clare, Linden Travers & Cecil Parker.

Quotes:
Mrs Henderson: "How wonderful! It does exactly what it says on the tin!"


BIFTA Winner: Best Non-Drip One Coat There Is (1939)

Directed by: Alfred Hitchcock. UK Black & White.

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Lethal Fartgas  (1987)

Alternative Titles: Lethal Injection, Cop For It, Pull My Finger, Silent But Deadly

Genre: Action/Thriller

Plot:
Mel Gibson stars alongside Danny Glover as a slightly edgy cop with a dicky tummy. Glover's character is not best pleased throughout.

Starring: Mel Gibson and Danny Glover.

Quotes:
Gibson: "Whoever smelt it dealt it!"
Glover: "Whoever said the rhyme did the crime, boy."


BIFTA Winner: Best Ripper (1988)

Directed by: Dick Gripper. US Colour.

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The Lives of Otters  (2006)

Alternative Titles: Das Leben der Otter

Genre: Drama/Thriller

Plot:
In 1984 East Berlin, a wildlife enthusiast conducting surveillance on a group of otters finds himself becoming increasingly absorbed by their lives. Subtitles.

Starring: Sebastian Koch, Ulrich Muehe & Martina Gedeck (voices).

Quotes:
Georg: "Fascinating creatures, otters. Look! Look at that one! Aw, he's going for a swim."
Maria: "Right. Can we go now?"


BIFTA Winner: Best Film in an Animal Language (2007)

Directed by: Florian Henckel von Donnerkebab. Germany Colour.

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