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Gangs of West Yorkshire  (2005)

Alternative Titles: Halifax Gives You Extra, Sleepless in Skipton, Bradford & Bingley Ride Again, Last of the Summer Whine, Emily Bronte

Genre: Drama

Plot:
Epic, gritty drama. Rival gangs from all over the Calderdale valley area fight it out for supremacy over the Hebden Bridge Sunday Car-Boot Sale.

Starring: Michael York, Susannah York and Thom Yorke.

Quotes:
Ernest: "Ee bye gum. I die a true Yorkshireman."


BIFTA Winner: Best Pale Ale (2006)

Directed by: Bill Payer. UK Colour.

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Ghostwatching  (1992)

Alternative Titles: The Sounds of Hell, Minimoog Murders

Genre: Horror/Drama

Plot:
Infamous BBC screenplay that got a bigger reaction on Right to Reply than any other single programme.

Set in the BBC Radiophonic Workshop, the crew are all haunted by the hellish sounds they have to produce. Decapitation (1) Thunder (3) and Screams (2 and 4) are used repeatedly by an unseen force, to drive the staff insane.

Starring: Michael Parkinson, Sarah Greene, Mike Smith, Rod Hull and Emu.

Quotes:
Rod Hull: "And now over to Emu for our outside weather broadcast..."

Most Helpful User Review:
Acted as if it were a real-life documentary, and is remembered for scaring millions of half-wit viewers who couldn't see through the transparent, wooden acting.


BIFTA Nomination: Best BBC Bullshit (1993)

Directed by: Eggy Pharts. UK Colour.

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Gladioli  (2000)

Alternative Titles: Glad Tidings, Glad Am I, Glad to be Gay, Gladioli Gladioli Gladioli

Genre: Action/Adventure/Drama

Plot:
Russell Grant minced his way into super-stardom in this epic BIFTA winning blockbuster, playing an apprentice florist in Ancient Rome.

Starring: Russell Grant and Dame Edna Everage.

Quotes:
Gluttonous Maximus: "My name is Gluttonous Maximus Meridian!"
Bifidus Digestivum: "So? Do you want a badge?"


BIFTA Winner: Best Flower Arrangements (2001)

Directed by: Ridley Scott. US Colour.

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A Grand Day In  (1997)

Alternative Titles: Daytime Telly, Plasticine People, Morph Was Shit

Genre: Children's/Animation

Plot:
Wallace and Gromit decide to stay in and watch telly. They watch Trisha, This Morning, Bargain Hunt and Countdown. Sounds grand to me.

Starring: Wallace, Gromit and Milk Bottle-Tops.

Quotes:
Wallace: "Gromit, this cheese is bloody horrible - it tastes like Play-Doh."


BIFTA Winner: Best TV Times (1998)

Directed by: Nick Park. UK Colour.

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The Great Muppet Murder  (1981)

Alternative Titles: Puppet Death, Who Had a Hand in it?, Ragtime

Genre: Children's

Plot:
Muppet whodunit. Kermit, Fozzie, and the gang, investigate the suspicious death of Sesame Street's kindly old storeowner, Mr Loopa.

Just who put arsenic in the jellybeans? Just who put bleach in the twinkies? Just what the fucking hell are twinkies?

You are given a break 10 minutes before the end to make up your mind between the suspects: the Count, Scooter, Miss Piggy, Grover, Mr Snuffleuppagus and Janice.

Starring: Charles Grodin, Frank Oz and Moira Stewart.

Quotes:
The Count: "ONE! Ah-ah-ah... TWO! Ah-ah-ah..."


BIFTA Winner: Best Film I've Seen in Ages (1982)

Directed by: Jim Henson. US Colour.

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Green Cardigan  (1989)

Alternative Titles: Stalker, You Know You Want It, If You Loved Me You'd Wear It

Genre: Drama

Plot:
Gerard Depardieu stars in this sick-making romance about a man trying to buy the perfect Christmas gift for the American girl living in the flat below whom he's trying to get off with.

Starring: Gerard Depardieu and Andie McDowell.

Quotes:
Gerry: "Excuse me... do you have this size in green?"

Most Helpful User Review:
Bollocks.


BIFTA Nomination: Best Wardrobe (1990)

Directed by: Artimage Shanks. US Colour.

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Half-A-Christmas  (2011)

Alternative Titles: Half-A-Sixpence, Arthur Sixpence, Arthur Fowler, It Ain't Half Christmas Mum

Genre: Children's/Family

Plot:
With only two weeks left until Christmas, a dysfunctional young man loses all his money on a stupid bet. Penniless until payday on January 9th, his Christmas Day consists of hanging tinsel on his houseplants and eating beans on toast for dinner.

Starring: James McAvoy & Bill Nighy (voices).

Quotes:
Arthur: "Jingle Bells! Jingle Bells! Jingle all the way! Oh what fun it is to eat baked beans on Christmas Day!"


BIFTA Winner: Best Get To Bed (2012)

Directed by: Stan Dupp. US Colour.

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The Hamshank Redemption  (1996)

Alternative Titles: Prison Food, Prison Cack, Prisoner: Cell Block Ham, Meat and Two Veg, Escape from Dinner

Genre: Drama

Plot:
Story of unrest amongst inmates over the barely edible prison food.

Starring: Todd Carty and Ted Robbins.

Quotes:
Dave: "Stick your rotten burgers up your arse!"

Most Helpful User Review:
The most talked about scenes being the messy jacket-potato-in-a-sock battering, and the classic food fight in the hall.


BIFTA Winner: Best Unrest (1997)

Directed by: Willie Winkie. UK Colour.

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Hard as Bombs  (1993)

Alternative Titles: Boom Town, Boom Boom, Boom Bang-a-Bang, Massive Attack

Genre: Action

Plot:
An elite bomb squad dash about Manhattan in pursuit of a mad terrorist, who plants his devices in old ladies' handbags.

Starring: Steven Segal and James Woods.

Quotes:
Newscaster on TV: "After Ada Mirkin detonated, it took the surgeons 18 hours to dislodge the plastic hip from her sister's armpit."

Most Helpful User Review:
If you think it's funny to see old people explode in graphic detail (and hell, who doesn't?) you would definitely enjoy this. Sick.


BIFTA Winner: Best Destruction of a Lead Geriatric (1994)

Directed by: Sem Tex. US Colour.

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He Knows You're Having Sex  (1991)

Alternative Titles: Femidom Ferox, I Don't Want to Die a Virgin, The Humping, Coitus Interruptus

Genre: Horror

Plot:
Mysterious man in a deerstalker hat spies on young couples copulating, and he's jealous.

Each couple is slain mid swing in increasingly inventive murders, climaxing in a spectacular triple death involving a threesome, six slugs and a Stannah Stairlift.

Starring: John Wayne Bobbit and Melody Maker.

Quotes:
Mikey: "Aw, come on Suzie, if you loved me you'd let me; so what if we're only 13? I've got protection - although the chemist looked at me weird when I asked for some mod-cons."


BIFTA Winner: Best Stunts (1992)

Directed by: Horny Toad. US Colour.

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He Knows You've Got Ferrero Rocher  (1983)

Alternative Titles: Ambassador of Death, Fondant of Fear, The Narcotic Nuts of Nestle

Genre: Horror

Plot:
The Ambassador is really spoiling his guests with his new chocolates, but there's something sinister in those sweets...

Won the award for the most inventive death involving cocoa powder, walnuts and a home enema kit.

Starring: Donald Sinden, Judi Dench, Johnny Briggs and Jacques Cousteau.

Quotes:
Miss Jones: "Shit - I forgot to buy sausage rolls."


BIFTA Winner: Best Inventive Death (1984)

Directed by: Epsom Salts. Belgium/UK Colour.

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Herbie Goes Apeshit  (1977)

Alternative Titles: Herbie Goes Monkeypoo

Genre: Children's

Plot:
Volkswagen Beetle with a mind of its own goes on the rampage throughout the streets of San Francisco.

Starring: Laurie Driver and Ken Wood-Chef.

Quotes:
Hank: "Herbie! Herbie you dipshit - slow down!"

Most Helpful User Review:
Quite gruesome for a children's film, with a total of 29 road traffic accidents.


BIFTA Nomination: Best Pile-Up (1978)

Directed by: Mike Arrsbrokedown. US Colour.

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Herbie Goes to Pontypridd  (1978)

Alternative Titles: Herbie 2, Monkeypoo Too, Herbie Goes to Wales

Genre: Children's/Family

Plot:
Herbie, the Volkswagen Beetle with a mind of its own, is racing in the Pontypridd Rally. Unbeknownst to Herbie's driver, thieves have hidden a cache of stolen leeks in Herbie's boot, and are now trying to get them back.

Starring: Derek Nimmo, Kathy Staff and Frazer Hynes.

Quotes:
Bert: "Are you crazy? We're supposed to be in a race and here you are, faffing about with some leeks?! Well, I didn't travel two hundred miles just to see people dressed up like Tom Jones! I'll tell you something, I've had it with the Welsh!"

Most Helpful User Review:
Was totally steaming drunk when I watched this; suffice to say, the kids and I really enjoyed it.


BIFTA Nomination: Best Put the Handbrake On (1979)

Directed by: Brent Trent. UK Colour.

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Herbie: The Love Cheat  (1979)

Alternative Titles: Herbie 3, Herbie & Christine

Genre: Children's

Plot:
Sequel to the Stephen King motor-car-comes-to-life classic.

Following a few disastrous relationships, Herbie the VW Beetle develops a bad attitude towards women and decides to cheat on five at once.

Starring: Minnie Metro and Tufty Squirrel.

Quotes:
Herbie: "Shut it, bitch!"


BIFTA Nomination: Best Motor Vehicle in a Lead Role (1980)

Directed by: Robin Reliant. US Colour.

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Honey, I Cooked The Chips  (1989)

Alternative Titles: Honey, I Made the Dinner

Genre: Children's

Plot:
Father of two finds himself having to do all the cooking when his wife refuses to do it anymore. He is most pleased with himself when he manages to use the chip pan without burning the house down.

Starring: Rick Moranis.

Quotes:
Wayne: "Honey, I cooked the chips!"
Marcia: "Well done, masterchef."


BIFTA Nomination: Best Chippy in Town (1990)

Directed by: Norman Chewits. US Colour.

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House of Cushions  (1977)

Alternative Titles: Cushion House, Pillow Talk, Ikea Nightmare, Don't You Touch My Pillows

Genre: Horror

Plot:
Man picks up an old lady hitchhiker and drives her home. As she serves tea the cushions start multiplying and filling the room until there is no room to breathe.

The last thing he sees is the woman's head turning into a watermelon.

Starring: Humphrey Cushion and Humpty Dumpty.

Quotes:
Neighbour: "Look at the muck in 'ere."

Most Helpful User Review:
Spooky.


BIFTA Nomination: Best Headfuck (1978)

Directed by: Tom Bola. UK Colour.

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The House on the Left Past the Roundabout  (1978)

Alternative Titles: The Madman's House, Quella Villa Allacanti, The House that Bled All Night, The House that Jack Built

Genre: Horror

Plot:
A lunatic escapes from the nearby mental asylum, it's raining and he'd like to find somewhere to rest.

The nearest house is the one on the left past the roundabout - it's full of teenagers having a party but he just wants some peace and quiet. And he'll go to any lengths to shut the fuckers up.

Starring: Lee Majors and Donald Pleasance.

Quotes:
Man in street: "The party? Oh, it's just there... on the left past the roundabout."


BIFTA Winner: Best Directions (1979)

Directed by: Stick Thinn. US Colour.

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